How fem-boy.com Serves the LGBTQ+ Community — Beyond the Rainbow Logo

Every June, timelines fill up with rainbow logos. By July most of them are gone. Real inclusion is less visible and much less glamorous: it lives in database fields, moderation rules, default settings, and the small decisions nobody notices until they go wrong.

Three months after launch, we want to be transparent about how fem-boy.com tries to serve the LGBTQ+ community in practice — and where we are still learning.

1. Identity in your own words

Gender and identity are not a single checkbox. On fem-boy.com you describe yourself the way you actually talk about yourself, and you choose what you are interested in finding — rather than the site deciding for you based on a binary assumption. Your pronouns and identity sit at the top of your profile, where people see them before anything else.

That placement is intentional. When identity is the first thing someone reads, the conversation that follows starts from respect instead of surprise.

2. Matching that respects what you asked for

You decide who can see you and who you see. Visibility settings let you stay out of discovery entirely while you get comfortable, or show your profile only to the people you are interested in. Blocks are enforced everywhere — in discovery, matches, messages and community spaces — so blocking someone actually means they are gone.

3. Moderation that understands the harm

The abuse LGBTQ+ people face online has its own shape: misgendering, fetishising messages, threats to out someone, and scams aimed at people who may feel isolated. Our community guidelines name these behaviours directly, and our moderation is trained to recognise them — not just generic spam.

• Photos are reviewed before they appear publicly.
• Every profile and message can be reported in a couple of taps.
• Hateful language is filtered in community spaces like General Talk and Daily Spark comments.
• Accounts that harass, scam, or target minors are removed — permanently.

4. Community, not just a swipe deck

Isolation is one of the quiet costs of being gender non-conforming, especially outside big cities. That is why the site includes spaces that are not about dating at all: General Talk for open conversation, Daily Spark prompts that let you share a little of yourself, and Would We Vibe?, a playful guessing game you can play before matching. Friendship is a perfectly good reason to be here.

5. Listening, and changing our minds

We are a small team and we will not get everything right. The most useful changes we have made so far came straight from members — clearer wording on profile fields, better controls over private photos, and more ways to keep a profile low-key. If something on the site feels wrong, alienating, or unsafe, tell us. It goes to real people who read every message.

Inclusion is not a campaign. It is a set of defaults you keep choosing.

If that is the kind of place you want to be part of, create your free profile — and bring your friends.